Tinkle tinkle in the pot Ready to train her mom was not Meg is such a big girl now She did it on her own, give her a bow Tinkle tinkle in the pot Ready to train her mom was not Tinkle tinkle in the pot A pain in my rear this was not It's so much fun, lots of cheers we do And now when I go potty Meg cheers me too Tinkle tinkle in the pot A pain in my rear this was not Tinkle tinkle in the pot What a cutie I have got She loves to tell her poo, "bye! bye!" as down the toilet it does fly Tinkle tinkle in the pot What a cutie I have got Tinkle tinkle in the pot In her undies she will not No more diapers in my home Now my baby seems all grown Tinkle tinkle in the pot In her undies she will not
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
I've never experienced the feelings people have on the anniversary of a loved one's death or of a traumatic event. It is hard for me to understand the specific struggles and emotions that particular day obviously brings. It isn't that I am feeling insensitive to or belittling their feelings, I understand them to be real, I've just been lucky enough, so far, to never have experienced them before.
But this week, I am beginning to understand.
This week is the one year anniversary of Sirri's cancer diagnosis. Of course, our story has a truly happy ending and for that our family is eternally grateful. That is why my extremely strong and absolutely heart sick emotions this week have surprised me so much.
This past week our lives and activities have been nearly identical to one year ago. The kids started soccer, we've celebrated birthdays, we attended the same family reunion in the same park, we had a doctor's appointment Monday morning. It has all been so eerily familiar that I have not been able to help but feel a bit of dejavu.
Rarely does a day go by that I don't think about Sirri's cancer. The majority of those days I laugh in the face of fear and relish in the fact that we kicked cancer's rear end. But then there are moments that the thought of a return diagnosis paralyzes me with horror. At times I can not help but think how lucky we were to dodge that bullet and I'm just waiting for the next round to strike. I hope that as the years go by the degree of dread will lessen, but I also imagine that I will have a bit of fear in my heart until the day I die.
This week has been full of those days of dread. The days that I am terrified simply by the word, "cancer." This week has been full of days with my children that are too short and long sleepless nights filled with worry. It has been a week reminding me that our lives will never be the same.
But, during Relief Society on Sunday our teacher taught about having faith through adversity and if we replace fear with faith we will feel less discouragement and heartache during our times of trial. This was truly a message from heaven for my aching heart.
As this week is winding down I'm beginning to feel more calm. Sirri had a CT scan on Monday and a visit with her oncologist today. All is still well and her prognosis continues to be that the cancer is unlikely to return. We are blessed. Truly blessed, I know.
This week I have also reflected on the people in our lives who were our life line when we needed it most. We are so blessed with wonderful family and amazing friends who may as well be. I know that Heavenly Father is watching over my family. I am thankful for the reminder this week to continue to celebrate life. I am thankful for my sweet Sirri and the rest of my family. I am thankful that this challenge, in the end, has made us stronger.
As the American Cancer Society would say, "Happy first birthday, Sirri!" Here's to MANY more.
I decided to take the day off from work and take Connor on his first fishing trip along with grandpa Jensen and my cousin's boy John (who is 13). The day goes as follows:
Of course I have slacked this year in buying my hunting and fishing license so we needed to be up early and get to Wal-Mart and meet grandpa at 8:00. Well, see, when you tell a five year old that we are going fishing in the morning, the five year old does not sleep very well.
I woke at 5:30 to get ready for the day and to gather my fishing gear (that sadly I have not used in quite some time). I showered and got dressed and went to round up my gear. When I came back in the house around 6:00 there was Connor standing in the living room with the biggest grin on his face.
Since Connor was up so early we had some time to kill before we had to pick up John and get to Wal-Mart, we sat around, ate breakfast and Connor kept asking, "when can we go dad?" After several excited, "when can we go?" dads' we loaded the gear and picked up John. We drove to Wal-mart and I got my long over due licenses, we went over to the fishing pole rack and choose a fishing pole that had Connor written all over it. He chose his pole and like a kid on Christmas morning he carried his pole with the pride of a first time father to the cashier. Connor was the newest and proudest owner of a brand new fishing pole. We met up with grandpa Jensen around 7:45 and we all headed up to Sand Creek. Connor and I were just behind a big enough bush that we could not see grandpa and John. I set up Connor's pole with a worm and marshmallow and cast it into the water. I had to reline my pole and I didn't even get the line half way off when I looked over and saw Connor's pole just a bouncing.
Connor started to scream...yes I said scream. I told Connor to get his pole and start reeling it in. This was a sight to see since Connor has never reeled in a fish before. John came over to see what all the excitement was about and then started to coach Connor on how to land his fish. Connor was so PROUD of his first fish. The rest of the fishing trip I had to take a lot of bragging between Connor and John at how they were out fishing me. They both ended up catching 7 fish and both lost 5 or 6 more to my measly 4 fish. It was so fun to take Connor on his first fishing trip that I think I will do it again....and again.... and again....well you get the picture.
I think I created a monster....a fishing monster. Fishing is all Connor has talked about for a week and when can we go again. Thanks grandpa for teaching me to love fishing so I can pass it along to Connor.
WHO: Three best buddies. Braxton, Connor, Koy WHAT: Some marshmallow guns, hot dogs, and a campfire cake. WHERE: Around the fire pit. WHEN: Connor's 5th birthday.
Did any of you keep a journal when you were younger? Did your entries always seem to start like mine?
"Dear Diary. I know it has been so long since I've written, but I'm back and I promise to be better. I'm going to write every day."
Ha! That is how this blog is beginning to seem. But, seriously. I'm going to try and do better. Unlike when I was younger, now I have a husband who keeps "reminding" me that I need to catch up the blog and a brother in law who seems to miss my posts as well cause he knows exactly how long it's been since my last post and he won't let me forget it! (Hi Richard.)
So, enough of the small talk. You might want to grab some popcorn and a soda. This'll be a long one.
First and foremost, Kendon has reached and surpassed his first weight loss goal. (Don't ask about mine.) He has lost a total of 33 pounds so far. He is looking absolutely amazing/hot/fit/ooohlala. I could keep going, but I won't. I will say though, I'm really proud of him for how hard he has worked and he is a great motivator to me. He has set a new goal and is still working his rear off. Recently my dad asked Kendon how far he is running now. His reply..."Oh, I'm still JUST running ten miles." Yeah. Just.
In June my sister Kim and my niece Sarah came to Boise for a week, so of course, we had to join them there. My favorite part of the trip was being able to get to know and LOVE Sarah Jane even more. She is the funniest little girl and I miss her so much. My kids loved playing with her as well and it was so fun for them to be able to build a relationship with their cousin.
It was also a joy to get to know my little sister Cindy's boyfriend, Travis. My kids hung all over him the whole time and he didn't seem to ever mind. He is delightful and I look forward to getting to know him better. (hint hint. Please come visit me, Cindy!!!!!)
While we were in Boise Cindy took some new family photos for us. I think they turned out so well. I must say we are a pretty cute bunch. Right before our family pictures we had just met Travis. We were all still in pajamas, snarly nasty hair, a real great first impression. Then he and Cindy left to scout out a location and we met them there a few minutes later. When we got out of the car his first words were, "wow! your family really cleans up well!" To see more of our pictures visit Cindy's photo blog at Sweet Grace Photography. Cindy is in Boise for anyone who might be interested in setting up a session. She is very talented and fun to work with.
The main reason we all went to Boise was to celebrate my Papa's 80th birthday party. It was such a special weekend. All of my grandparent's children were there and all but two of their grandchildren were able to be there. It was really neat to be able to hang out with my cousins (we missed you Jeremy and Nick) and to be able to see all the people who love my Papa so much. My sister Kim made all the great granddaughters DARLING cupcake skirts for the party and I made t-shirts. The girls said, "I heart Papa," and the boys said, "My Papa Rocks!" They were a hit and Papa LOVED them. My grandma told me that she had so many of her lifelong friends compliment her children and grandchildren. I'd say that reflects more on my grandma and Papa than on us. It is their legacy and the lessons that they have taught us all that we are living.
I love you Papa and Grandma! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I was teaching in St. Anthony, 6 years ago, I first heard about the Relay for Life. The Relay for Life (RFL) is an all night walk sponsored by the American Cancer Society. I always thought it would be a cool thing to do but never made the effort. Then, cancer struck our family and several families in our ward. So, my friend headed up a team, invited me to join, and I couldn't possibly say no.
It was an incredible and very emotional experience to say the least. Our team raised almost $1500 and the event total was almost $35,000. I was so happy to be able to make a contribution to the fight against cancer. Our family has been beyond blessed and I hope that in my lifetime a cure can be found. Everyone deserves the happy ending that we had! I have to send out a great big thank you to those who donated. I have very generous loved ones and I appreciate you all.
The evening began with a survivor's lap which Sirri was able to participate in. She was not so sure about all the attention but she made the lap. Her mom was not so sure about trying to keep it all together and not do the "ugly cry" in front of all those people. It was very touching to be walking with people young and old. Cancer doesn't care who you are. Some you could tell were still fighting and some have been blessed with an ending like ours. It was kind of a surreal experience. Some days our experience with cancer seems like a dream and at other times it feels so real and scary that I can hardly breathe.
Two of my girlfriends and I walked nearly the whole night. We stopped very little. It kept us warm and it also felt like we were making a difference. Cancer leaves you feeling so helpless that when you have a chance to do something, anything, you take it.
I was asked to be part of the committee for next year. I said yes before I knew the scope of my responsibilities. It wasn't until I was informed that I would be needing a committee of at least six and would be going to Reno for training that I realized the scope of the job. But really, I still couldn't have said no! I'm excited. (I just wish I could take my committee with me to Reno! I bet it would be lots easier to find help! Thx to those who have already said yes!)
If you are ever given the opportunity to participate in a Relay for Life, TAKE IT! Better yet, come do it in Rexburg next year. June 25th. Put it on your calendar! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The morning after the Relay we headed out for a week at Wolf Creek. This is turning into a 4th of July tradition that I LOVE. This is my (and my kiddos) kind of vacation. Here is a run down of pretty much the whole week. Eat. Swim. Sleep. Eat. Swim. Sleep. Eat, Swim. Sleep. Repeat.
My sister Cindy and mom gave Sirri some swim lessons and by the end of the week she could swim across the pol. She had a blast and was so proud. Connor LOVED having his daddy toss him in the air and throwing him in flips. Meg loved the water as long as it was warm. She got the shivers and shakes. Maybe if she had a little meat on her bones..... A little meat on her bones like her cousin Sarah!!!!! That girl NEVER got cold. She love love loved the water and it was so fun to watch her. On the morning of the 4th, Richard and Kendon and I did a 5k. It was a blast. They had all kinds of obstacles that made it fun and helped pass the time. (Three miles is still hard for me! Sheesh.) Kendon was kind enough to stick with his wife. It was fun becuse we don't have the opportunity to run together often. Ever.
On the 4th we also went to the "This is the Place" park in SLC. What a cool place. I couldn't believe the cabins that these families lived in with TONS of kids. It made me apprecaite what we have and I've been trying not to complainabout our little house. The kids loved the train and pony rides. And please notice how darling the girls look. Kim made those matching dresses. She is so talented.
All in all, it was a fabulous vacation and I really appreciate the time and effort my mom puts in to making it happen. I know we aren't always the easiest house guests, but we had a great time and I miss you all! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We got our garden in at the end of May and it has just blossomed! It is beautiful and (mostly) weed free. We planted tomatoes, beans, peas, potatoes, onions, carrots, beats, cucumbers, pickling cucumbers, summer squash, zuchinni, corn and TONS of pumpkins. We are hoping to have a pumpkin patch where people can come pick their own pumkins. Fun, huh?
Our family has survived cancer TWICE. Read our story by clicking the picture.
Sirri the Drama Queen
Connor the Sportsman
Meg the Fighter
Words of Wisdom
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson
Tinkle tinkle in the pot
Tinkle tinkle in the pot
Tinkle tinkle in the pot
Tinkle tinkle in the pot
Tinkle tinkle in the pot
Tinkle tinkle in the pot
