Thursday, August 28, 2008

Now You Know the Rest of the Story.....

Growing up, my dad always listened to Paul Harvey. I've always loved his stories. Don't you?

Well, here's one for ya.

You may recognize these photos.
They are of me running out of Primary Children's Hospital. I just couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Well, I wasn't exactly JUST running. I was, as always, being silly. Dare I say, a bit too silly?

I was attempting to have my friend Michelle, take a picture of me clicking my hills in the air. My own personal happy dance, if you will. I had successfully completed the heel click twice before without a good picture of the move and was hoping that the third time would be a charm.

Well, it didn't really work out that way. Instead, my ankle rolled on the landing and my knee twisted and popped and I ended up on the ground.

So much for my grand exit!

Too bad Michelle is such a good friend. Rather than helping me off the ground she should have kept snapping pictures. She wouldn't make much of a photo journalist!

Instead we only have these pathetic "after" shots of my grossly swollen and very sore knee.
And now you know the rest of the story!


Mom, this is for you:
My knee is healing quite well. NO, I have not been to the doctor but I have been icing and elevating it diligently. It is feeling much better every day. I might even be able to get back to the gym by the end of the week!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Sirri's first day going to school without Mommy.


On Wednesday, Sirri's first day of kindergarten, I was able to ride the bus with her to and from school. (All the parents could. Not just crazy me, FYI!) As soon as we got on the bus, the first thing that I noticed was the huge DVD player bolted to the ceiling. And do you know what was playing on that DVD player? Sponge Bob Square Pants. I guess I'm a little like Bob... I'm a square of a mom because that show makes me cringe. I dislike that show so much that it is not allowed in our house. I tend to be pretty picky about the shows that my kids watch and just because it is a cartoon or rated "G" does not make it okay in my book.

I've spent the last five years protecting Sirri, keeping her safe from the world, filtering what goes in and out of her little universe. So for that to be my first, "I'm sending my baby off to school," experience, I felt a bit wounded. What kinds of things will she be experiencing everyday that I won't be able to put through my own personal sieve? I won't always know what words she is hearing or what words she is saying. I won't always know if she has been treated kindly or is treating others kindly. I won't necessarily know if she is having a crummy day and won't be there to experience it if she is having the best!

I know that I have to let go, and I am trying, but it is hard. I know that all I can do at this point is continue to teach her what I know to be right and pray everyday that she will remember and feel in her heart what she has been taught. I will have to open the lines of communication super wide and keep talking to her until she knows that she can always talk to me as well. Hopefully we can forge our way through this school thing together.



P.S. I know that I could put up a stink and have good ole Sponge Bob off the morning bus, but that really isn't the hill I want to die on. I better save my ammo just in case I really need it some day. Hoping not, but you never know.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Sirri's BIG Day!

The first day of Kindergarten!
August 20, 2008


Sirri and I made her teacher these dipped fortune cookies. They turned out really cute and were yummy too.
And the backpack fairy came to our house. She blinged up Sirri's backpack a bit and left her a princess water bottle and a new pencil box!

After school we had a back to school party! We invited lots of kiddos, played in the water, decorated cupcakes and ate snow cones! It was a great end to a special day! (One mom even told me, "Jake could have cared less about today being the first day of school. He was just excited about the party afterwards!!!!")









Thursday, August 21, 2008

And Just What Were Meg and Connor Doing the Whole Time I was at PCMC?

THIS:

frozen pizza

i asked connor,"do you want frozen pizza for lunch?"
connor replied,"no way! that would be gross-i like warm pizza."
too cute!

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AND THIS:

meg

do you ever wonder what your babysitters do with your kids while your gone? well i'm going to show you what i do...after cleaning up way to many meg messes-
i put her to work: cleaning my garbage can.
she begged to please stop-but not yet!
then i made her stay in there-all day long(at least it's cleaned)
no matter how sad she got
or how many faces she pulled at me!

i know: i'm pretty tough! So you better think twice before letting me watch your kids.

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AND THIS:

*putting marbles in the toilet
*not sitting in the shopping cart(well at least not willingly)
*throwing macaroni and cheese all over the kitchen
*dumping the fish food and eating it(sorry lisa)
*taking her OWN bath-clothes and all
*opening ramen noodle soup, all by herself and eating it
*unrolling the toilet paper(every chance she got)

oh having meg around... reminded me of how busy and full of life a toddler is-I LOVE IT!
thanks meg.

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AND THIS:

"I saw Jaci at soccer practice Tuesday. Connor and Koy were putting rocks down the slide and eating Ritz crackers. Jocie and Meg had a small confrontation (easily settled) over a bag of cereal. Life just keeps moving forward."

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These are posts that Jaci did while we were in the hospital and the last is from an e-mail my friend Jenny sent. I was always so thankful to see and hear what my kiddos were doing an a day to day basis. It helped me feel connected.

Amidst the miracles that Sirri's cancer was only in stage one (something that many of the doctors and all the nurses had NEVER seen before because it just doesn't happen) and that her cancer had not spread, and that she didn't need chemo or radiation, and that we even found the cancer to begin with, the fact that Jaci had my kids every day was also a miracle to me.

The Sunday before this whole "journey" began, Jaci and her family were scheduled to go on a family vacation. "Somehow," their condo that they were to stay in did not get booked through their agent. So, they didn't go. And Jaci's plans for a relaxing week were changed drastically.

Jaci had my kids everyday and to her I am so indebted. It meant so much to me that my kids were in a place where they feel just as comfortable as home. A place that Connor felt comfortable enough to ask all his questions about where Sirri was and why she was there. A place where Meg was doted on and loved to pieces even when she was tired and grumpy. I missed my kids terribly every day, but never once did I worry about them. To a mom, that is a miracle.

Thank you Jaci, for being my kiddos second mom. They love you and so do I.

And I hope you've gotten a nap since then. You deserve it!

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I also want to say a great big, huge, ginormous, thank you to Stacey who picked my kids up from Jaci's every day and took them home to sleep in their own beds. I appreciate the sacrifice that she (and her hubby) made to sleep at my house every night so the kids could have a tie to home and family every day. Stacey also kept everyone up to date as to how everything was going with Sirri, she did my laundry (ack!), renewed my library books, made sure my kids were bathed, made numerous phone calls for me, came over to the house at 4:00 in the morning so Kendon could hop a ride to SLC, decorated our house for our homecoming, and so many other things that I'm not even aware of. Stace, you were a dream. I love you.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

In Pictures

Here is our PCMC experience in pictures. LOTS of pictures. (And a few words. I can't help it!)

MONDAY 8/4

We arrive at the hospital. Sirri thinks this is going to be so much fun. It's like a hotel with cool beds that go up and down and a t.v. in your room, any movie you could ever want and you get to order food on the phone and they bring it to your room! This will be great!

Hey, wait a minute. Who are all these people and why do they all keep poking my tummy and looking in my mouth and asking me all kinds of questions?
I think Sirri quickly re-evaluated her first theory about hospitals. And while she was at it, got really good at her evil eye!



TUESDAY 8/5

Mike, the Child Life Specialist, gave Sirri her very own doll that she named Brooke. Mike used the doll to help teach and explain to Sirri about some of the things that she could expect during her hospital stay. Mike was awesome!

Here, Sirri has given Brooke an IV and is filling it full of pink medicine!

Sirri and Grandma during her sweat test that checked for Cystic Fibrosis.
Thank goodness for Grandma! She was an absolute blessing to have there. Sirri always wanted her Grandma by her side and Grandma could get Sirri to cooperate for things that Mommy couldn't. Thanks again, Mom!

WEDNESDAY 8/6


The BIG day of surgery.
Sirri didn't go into surgery until late afternoon and had a grand ole ball all day just playing. She thought she was on vacation.

video

And then the big moment. As soon as they put her in her bed and started to roll it down the hall, she knew the vacation was over and she was not happy and felt scared. This is where it started to get real and hard.

When we got downstairs they gave her some loopy medicine. It worked fast. Just look at that goofy grin. And THEN, just as suddenly as it calmed her down, she was upset again. She was dazing in and out of consciousness and was sobbing and her cry sounded so weird and labored and it was awful because we had to leave her like that. I think that was one of the hardest moments of this whole experience.

And then the next time I saw her, about 3 1/2 hours later this is what she looked like. That was really hard too. I can remember hearing my dad say before, that you need to prepare yourself when you see someone come right out of surgery. They don't look like themselves and it can be scary. I'd never experienced that before, but was thankful I had remembered him saying that becuase it was true. It is very difficult to see your child and have them look so different that they are almost unrecognizable.



THURSDAY 8/7

Dad and grandma both had to go today. I hated to see them leave and it was very hard for them both to leave Sirri. Aunt Cindy flew in that evening and boy was I thankful. I thought that I would have been okay by myself for the week but I was so glad to have her there.

FRIDAY 8/8

Trying to perk Sirri up.

And not doing a very good job.

Good thing for Aunt Cindy. She knew that a back scratch would do the trick!


SATURDAY 8/9

Another chest tube today. BUMMER!

SUNDAY 8/10

Happy happy day! My friend Michelle brought over her laptop with a webcam. I was able to see my other two babies and I was so happy! It was a sweet moment. Thank you Michelle!


MONDAY 8/11

Monday morning Sirri felt well enough to go for a little spin around the unit on "her " bike. She had a great time even with all the tubes she was attached to.She didn't last long before she was pooped.
Grandpa Bigelow was flying home from LA, so he changed his flight to have a lay over in Salt Lake all Monday afternoon and evening. Sirri was so glad to see him and to have a napping buddy!


TUESDAY 8/12

Grandma and Grandpa Jensen took us "out" to lunch! This was Sirri's first time out of our unit in a week (minus her daily chest x-ray and CT scan.) We went down to the cafeteria and Sirri actually ate. Okay, the bite she is taking of the pretzel in this picture is all she ate, but it was progress!
She didn't eat much more of her ice cream either. THAT is how you know she really wasn't feeling well.

And our little field trip wore her out!


WEDNESDAY 8/13

Sirri was able to go outside after 9 days stuck inside a hospital. She was so happy!



THURSDAY 8/14

Daddy rode a bus back to Salt Lake this morning so he could drive home with us. That was a wonderful reunion.

Sirri packing up her very own gift shop.

Our very favorite nurse, Irish, eating Sirri's last (and week old) cupcake Cookie Monster style. Irish was always able, and sometimes the only one, who could get Sirri to smile. He called her Bug, always did a "stinky feet check," and had his very own farting machine. This guy was the best.

This girl was happy to be going home!

And so was this one.
I sure loved PCMC, but couldn't get out of there fast enough!