Sirri's first day going to school without Mommy.

On Wednesday, Sirri's first day of kindergarten, I was able to ride the bus with her to and from school. (All the parents could. Not just crazy me, FYI!) As soon as we got on the bus, the first thing that I noticed was the huge DVD player bolted to the ceiling. And do you know what was playing on that DVD player? Sponge Bob Square Pants. I guess I'm a little like Bob... I'm a square of a mom because that show makes me cringe. I dislike that show so much that it is not allowed in our house. I tend to be pretty picky about the shows that my kids watch and just because it is a cartoon or rated "G" does not make it okay in my book.

I've spent the last five years protecting Sirri, keeping her safe from the world, filtering what goes in and out of her little universe. So for that to be my first, "I'm sending my baby off to school," experience, I felt a bit wounded. What kinds of things will she be experiencing everyday that I won't be able to put through my own personal sieve? I won't always know what words she is hearing or what words she is saying. I won't always know if she has been treated kindly or is treating others kindly. I won't necessarily know if she is having a crummy day and won't be there to experience it if she is having the best!

I know that I have to let go, and I am trying, but it is hard. I know that all I can do at this point is continue to teach her what I know to be right and pray everyday that she will remember and feel in her heart what she has been taught. I will have to open the lines of communication super wide and keep talking to her until she knows that she can always talk to me as well. Hopefully we can forge our way through this school thing together.

P.S. I know that I could put up a stink and have good ole Sponge Bob off the morning bus, but that really isn't the hill I want to die on. I better save my ammo just in case I really need it some day. Hoping not, but you never know.