Friday, March 21, 2008

Being nice is totally overrated, not to mention...EXPENSIVE!

A few weeks ago Kendon had strep throat. He had not eaten anything for four days and was quite miserable. One night, the kids and I were in town and I decided that I'd grab Kendon a Blizzard on the way home. I was pretty sure that he could muster enough strength to eat a Blizzard and if he couldn't, I knew someone who could!!! (That would be me, if you were unsure!)

I ordered his favorite, Strawberry Banana, and came around the corner to the window to pay. Just before the window, there is a red pole that if you ask me sticks out into the lane further than it should. Way further than it should. To keep a short story, well, short, here's the punch line: I HIT THE POLE. I wish that I could say I just gave it a little tap, but I can't because I didn't. I am glad to say that I didn't RAM the thing, but unfortunately I did hit it hard enough that it caused some damage. Can I just say, in my defense, it was DARK outside, okay.

This is not My DQ but see the red pole? The red pole at our DQ sticks out further. I'm just sure of it.

I wish the damage to the van was as bad as it looks in the picture. It's worse!

And here is a side note that I would like documented for history. For several years now, Kendon and I have planned on using our tax return money to re-do the upstairs of our home. (We live in a115 year old home and the upstairs is quite uninhabitable. A post on our home coming shortly. Give me some time.) Anyway, the first year we had the money saved, our well went dry and we had to drill a new one. Price tag: $4500. The next year, our van was in the shop CONTINUALLY. Price tag: $3000. Last year our old septic system went out and had to be replaced. That was real poopy! (just a little potty humor!) Price tag: $4200. So, as tax season has been approaching we've been anticipating what IT would be this year. I guess I solved that problem for us. We get a new fender and door! Yippee! Price tag: I don't even want to guess. Pricier than a blizzard, I'll bet!

So, now, let's continue the story cause it doesn't end at the Dairy Queen. Last week while in Boise Kendon happened to come down with Strep Throat AGAIN. This time he got sick on our overnight date. Bummer. The next day he had to fly out of Boise to Ohio for business. His flight left at 6:00 am and he had to leave for the airport at 4:30. Since he was sick, I felt sorry for him having to go so early by himself and I decided to get up and take him. I dropped him off and headed back to my parent's house really hoping to get a little shut eye before little Miss, "I have terrible sleeping habits" Meg woke up. I must have been in too big of a hurry because as I was parking the van I backed into the neighbors mailbox. (Before you go judging, please have mercy on me and remember that it was dark this time too!) I crunched the box and busted out my taillight. You want to know what I think the saddest part of this story is? Well, next to the fact that I didn't get any more sleep cause I was all wired. The saddest part to me is that as soon as I hit the pole, the first word that came out of my mouth wasn't a swear word, or a little yelp, or a pooey, or darn. The first word that I said was, "TYPICAL!" This is just typical behavior for me and that is pathetic! I need help.


My GREAT dad fixed up the busted taillight until I got it replaced. Which I did already. That green tape had to go.

The doctor who saw Kendon in Boise recommended, that because of his Strep Throat history (Strep Throat and Kendon have been lifelong enemies.) he might want to consider having his tonsils out. Well, if that ends up being the case, Kendon is just going to have to take care of himself this time. He better not expect any sympathy or NICE coming from me. I can only imagine what kind of damage I could do.


jessica said...

I'm so sorry! I hate it when you have to spend money to fix things...everything should just work perfectly forever.

Eli said...

That story does sound typical for you; not in that so many bad things happen, but that you're able to still find the humor in any situation you're in. Does that make sense? You're great Lisa Marie. Thanks for sharing your little dose of humor with all of us.

Lauren said...

Oh, no! I am so sorry!

At least you were thinking of Kendon and trying to do something sweet for him by picking up something sweet.

You wrote this with such enjoyable humor.

I had my tonsils out at age 34 and it was awful but, I had to do it because the repeated strep was ruining my life. I just kept gettin so sick! Even though I struggled with recovering from the tonsilectomy it was so nice not to get violently ill with strep multiple times each winter.

I understand about not being able to re-do your upstairs. At least you haven't lost your sense of humor, right? I loved the, "poopy" comment! Such potty humor! Hilarious!

Jenibelle said...

We went through the very same Dairy Queen the other night and managed NOT to hit the pole in our big ol Tahoe. But I did tell a very nice version of your story to the fam. My boys think you are gorgeous by the way and think I should get my hair cut. I think I am missing all the essential elements of short hair, namely a pretty face and great color and a little wave. I 'm afraid I would look like a double chin with hair.

Lisa-Marie said...


Guess what? You DO have a very pretty face, your hair is a great color (I read your post where you even said so yourself!) and my hair is stick straight! So, no excuses for you girlfriend!!!

Jessica said...

Okay the Break fairy better be passing your house sometime soon, cause you guys need one!

Bridget said...

Oh that is no fun at all! I am so sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I hit a pole like that but it was one of those that they have at the gas station. My defense, it was dark and snowy/icy. This was just weeks after my mom died and the tears came all too easily then. I just broke down. I HATE car accidents.

There's always next year with the tax return right? :)

Christie said...

See what happens when you try and be all nice to your husband? I think that is reason enough never to do nice things again. Be mean and maybe money will fall into your lap and you'll never crash your cars again.

gab said...

You and I should go driving together sometime! My van is so dinged and dented...I have very poor visual-spacial skills.

At least you were performing acts of service...

Hazen5 said...

No way, you poor thing! I can't wait to see pictures of your house, I love houses with history.

Hollyween said...

Did you know I worked at DQ for two years? I was a professional blizzard maker. I was awesome. And I distinctly remember lots of accidents at the "red pole". So I wouldn't feel too badly about it. Ya know, besides the expense of it all which totally SUCKS! I hope you get it repaired and it's not a million dollars. YA know how you mentioned the money thing and you have all these big plans with it? That SAME thing happens to us EVERY year and something always happens where we have to put it towards something else. I mean, at least we have it right? But still.

Grandma W. said...

Oh, Honey, I didn't know about all the things that happened and I am so sorry!!! You don't deserve all that! Your Great Grandma Hiatt used to say "things happen in three's" and I think she was right!
Hopefully, you are all through now!
Yes, Kendon should have his tonsils out for sure! I had mine out when I was pregnant with Penny because they were causing me so much grief! It wasn't bad at all!
I am sure it is even better now!
Take care!!!
We love you!