Saturday, May 10, 2008

I miss my mom.

A sweet sister in my ward is helping me sew some bedspreads for the kid's new bunk beds. (Because I am extremely sewing illiterate!) We just started tonight and it seems to me that we have a long way to go. As we are going along cutting and measuring and using sewing lingo that I just don't understand, the sister keeps saying things like, "and then YOU will," and "when YOU get to this point," or "I'll give YOU really good instructions for when YOU do..." I get the impression that somewhere along the lines she is going to be cutting me free and letting me go to finish on my own. I don't want to finish on my own. I can't finish on my own. (For one, I don't even have a working sewing machine.) I'm so very thankful for ANY help that she is willing to give me and I don't mean to sound ungrateful but really, I just want my Mom. I could tell my mom, "no, I don't get it." And my mom would know that I don't understand what cutting on the bias means. I know my mom wouldn't let me loose or cut me free. My mom would see me out to the end.

I just want my mom.

Since I've been married and not living close to my mom, Mother's Day has always been really hard for me. I understand that it is just another Sunday on the calendar but it is a day that is hard for me none the less. It is a day focused on our mother's and for me that focus turns into longing. It is a day where I really miss, need and yearn for the 300 mile gap between us to be closed. I know many people who have lost their mothers and I can't imagine what that is like. I feel very blessed to still have my mom but even so, I miss her desperately.

Remind me this time next year to stick to projects that I know how to do. No sewing allowed on Mother's Day weekend. It's just not good for my spirit. And probably not my mom's either. Sorry about the sad post mom. Please don't cry.

And Happy Mother's Day. Thanks for being such a great mother so that I can be too. I LOVE YOU!

12 comments:

Shally said...

Oh-- I miss my mom too...

We used to live across the street from eachother until we had to move 4 hours away.

I miss seeing her face everyday, and I miss seeing her with my kids everyday...

Thank goodness I still talk to her daily on the phone!

Laurel said...

I have a huge lump in my throat. I can completely relate. I miss my mom, too, and want her near every day. I wonder if I'll ever truly grow up and need her less...nope!

Kim said...

Rich says we must be true sisters because he says that sounds just like me.

I miss mom too...how can we both have her closeby? Oh, why don't you all move here?!

We did luck out in the mommy department, didn't we?! XOXOXO

Tristan said...

I miss my Mom too! I don't live by my Mom and there are so many times where I just need her. So I totally understand!

Happy Mother's Day to you!

Bridget said...

Happy mother's day to you! I suppose I am one of those people you don't want to hear from because you'll feel bad. Don't worry! I'm not a guilt tripper. YOu can miss your mom even though she is alive and just far away. :)

Jenibelle said...

I miss both my Moms. I can't comment now, I am going to be busy crying. It's funny how things go full circle, there was probably a time when you didn't need her so much and now, she is so important. Cherish your moments.

Stephanie said...

ohhh, I love Pam too!! She is really wonderful!! I have lots and lots and great memories that involve your mom, my most favorite memory? I was sitting in your house and I had on shorts and my legs were hairy, she told me that hairy legs were a sign of uncleanliness (did I spell that right?) and she thought it was really nasty. I have always remembered this, and whenever I get lazy and don't want to shave my legs, I always think of her!! Consequently, I shave my legs everyday now...at most every other day!! She is so funny. I do love her!

Lauren said...

Thank you so much for this honest view of how much you miss her. I loved how you wrote about it with such heartwrenching honesty. In doing so you gave her such a beautiful tribute!

I loved reading it...I am sorry you are longing...


That pregnancy picture is so sweet!

Lauren said...

You are so sweet the way you told her, "please don't cry"....It choked me up :)

katie said...

not a sad post... I'm sure mom is "happy" crying right now. She raised an amazing mother herself.

Pam said...

Good morning Dolly. I just read the post and I am crying (not good to mess your mascara up at work!!) but they are happy and grateful tears. I am so blessed to have three incredible daughters that love me unconditionally. I have so many flaws but you all just overlook them. Thank you so much!!
And Stephanie if you are reading this I am dying six deaths!! Did I really say that to you?!?!?!? I'm sure you must have been at someone elses home (I'm praying that is what you will remember!!!) I love all my girls and their friends!!!!!!

Grandma W. said...

Been there - felt that way! Your Mom has too! Honey, we are just grateful you are in Idaho!!! We wish Kim were closer, but she could be in New York or some such place! So, we should all be glad none of you are out of the West!
I am sure your Mom will help you when they come to Rexburg for Sirri's program! I wish I were closer so I could help you too! I'm not much of a seamstress, but I can do some! Right now, I am buried in scrapbooks, so I wouldn't be much help! Both you and Kim are so fortunate to have such great husbands! That helps!!!
WE love you!