I miss my mom.
A sweet sister in my ward is helping me sew some bedspreads for the kid's new bunk beds. (Because I am extremely sewing illiterate!) We just started tonight and it seems to me that we have a long way to go. As we are going along cutting and measuring and using sewing lingo that I just don't understand, the sister keeps saying things like, "and then YOU will," and "when YOU get to this point," or "I'll give YOU really good instructions for when YOU do..." I get the impression that somewhere along the lines she is going to be cutting me free and letting me go to finish on my own. I don't want to finish on my own. I can't finish on my own. (For one, I don't even have a working sewing machine.) I'm so very thankful for ANY help that she is willing to give me and I don't mean to sound ungrateful but really, I just want my Mom. I could tell my mom, "no, I don't get it." And my mom would know that I don't understand what cutting on the bias means. I know my mom wouldn't let me loose or cut me free. My mom would see me out to the end.
I just want my mom.
Since I've been married and not living close to my mom, Mother's Day has always been really hard for me. I understand that it is just another Sunday on the calendar but it is a day that is hard for me none the less. It is a day focused on our mother's and for me that focus turns into longing. It is a day where I really miss, need and yearn for the 300 mile gap between us to be closed. I know many people who have lost their mothers and I can't imagine what that is like. I feel very blessed to still have my mom but even so, I miss her desperately.
Remind me this time next year to stick to projects that I know how to do. No sewing allowed on Mother's Day weekend. It's just not good for my spirit. And probably not my mom's either. Sorry about the sad post mom. Please don't cry.
And Happy Mother's Day. Thanks for being such a great mother so that I can be too. I LOVE YOU!