Sunday, September 14, 2008

I took Myself out on a date last night....

Turns out, Myself is not that great of company.

First I decided to take Myself to Jamba Juice. Myself ordered her old stand by flavor, Caribbean Passion, and a Sourdough Asiogo Cheese pretzel. Myself had a feeling that she wouldn't like the pretzel but ordered it anyway. Turns out, she was right. Myself ate the pretzel anyhow but mumbled and grumbled, "I should have gotten the apple cinnamon one instead," the whole drive to Idaho Falls.

It would have been nice to drown out Myself's pretzel pity party with some good tunes, but apparently Myself lives in a home that is pretty rowdy and noisy so she opted to just listen to the peace and quiet the whole drive. You'd think that would be boring, but it seems that Myself reveled in the silence.

For the big date, I took Myself grocery shopping to Winco. Myself's husband had offered to take her with all the kids in tow that afternoon, but Myself wasn't sure she had the patience for that. Even though late night anything, is not Myself's favorite, she opted for it this time.

I wonder if it used to be fun to grocery shop with Myself? It sure wasn't this time. Myself couldn't believe how expensive things have gotten recently and got herself all worked up over the gigantic amount of money she would be spending. Myself was quite proud of herself when she was done though. She planned and shopped for 6-8 weeks worth of meals and spent $308! Of course, Myself has to do weekly shopping for fresh food but she felt accomplished. Myself is kinda weird like that. She loves to meal plan. CRAZY girl!

Myself also has this bad habit of fretting about her children's health every time she grocery shops. She worries that the meals she is feeding her children are healthy and well balanced and that she is teaching her kids healthy eating habits to last them a life time. Myself couldn't even buy hotdogs this time. That is a major change! Hot dogs used to be the old stand by at Myself's house. She told me that recently she read an article about hotdogs being linked to cancer. That kinda freaked her out. Though, Myself understands that most things these days are linked to cancer what with all the preservatives that go into our food. Whole food is the way to go but can be hard to do all the time. Maybe after time, Myself will be able to buy hotdogs again. (I kinda hope not. They really are disgusting if you think about it.) I told her to quit fretting and just buy some chocolate already!

By the time Myself had reached the checkout line and realized she still had to unload, then bag and reload all the groceries, not to mention put them all away at home...she felt very tired! She was missing her husband and the local Albertsons does all that work for you (minus the unloading at home that is.)

Myself and I finally made it out of the store two hours later. As were walking to the van, quite sluggishly, feeling that the evening couldn't possibly get much worse, it did. Turns out, Myself's zipper was gaping wide open. Must have been the whole night. Can you believe her? She is so embarrassing.

See if I ever take Myself anywhere again.

21 comments:

Linsey said...

The end of this is hilarious and the rest just makes me wish you'd had some company. Now, how about sharing some of your meal plans? I am LOUSY at meal planning and would love a tutorial if you're willing...?

Jenibelle said...

Yeah, myself and I don't get along sometimes either. My Myself thinks too much (just like yours) and my Myself has also been known to be a forgetful dresser. I and myself can relate to your myself's zipper malfunction. You didn't see anyone you knew did you?

Jake said...

Cute, cute post!

And I agree with Lindsey's comment...meal planning post please!

Wendi said...

Hee hee, not the hot date you were hoping for, huh? lol

I just ordered one of those parmesan pretsels from Jamba Juice a couple of weeks ago too and was also disappointed.....

queenieweenie said...

Myself needs to plan fun dates with her husband for Saturday nights instead.

Pam said...

I don't even have a funny come back for you!! I'm still laughing!
I wish I could keep my little kiddos so Kendon could go shopping with you and then maybe he would have noticed the zipper and probably would have talked you out of the parmesan pretzel and would have taken you for ice cream instead! Look at the bright spot . . . it is a new day, the groceries are put away and you have meals planned for 6 weeks. Most of us open the refrigerator at 6:00 and ask ourselves "what should we have tonight?!?!". Then we shut the fridge and go to Costa Vida or Fiesta Guadalahara!!

P.S. It is about time you posted a blog. It's been days!!!!!!!!!

Bridget said...

I HATE meal planning. Help. Please!

Lauren in GA said...

I really loved hearing about you and your friend, "Myself"...I really felt like I have a lot in common with, "Myself" but, I am not as efficient of a meal planner.

Sorry, about the zipper...like I said...I have a lot in common with, "Myself"...at least your skirt wasn't tucked up under itself and exposed some upper leg area in the back. I have done that, myself.

Rochelleht said...

That reminds me. I need to get to the store and buy 3 months worth of groceries...

Katie said...

Fabulous, simply fabulous!! That's exactly what would happen to me..stinkin' zippers!!

As for going to the grocery store by myself..well, that hasn't happened in so long that I wouldn't know what to do with myself (peace and quiet that is!)

Katie said...
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Laurel said...

You had me at your first "myself" reference, but you really got me with the gaping zipper. If I had been drinking anything, it would have been a spit take. Too funny!

Laurel said...
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Christie said...

What a cute idea for a post. I love it.

Sorry about the bad pretzel. That stinks. Next time take Myself out for a pedicure and a massage.

Dustin and Shelli Chambers said...

Despite the work, grocery shopping alone, instead of with whiny, begging, hungry munchkins...priceless!

Kim said...

You crack me up! Wish I would have been there to laugh and point fingers...I mean, tell you that you were having zipper problems! :) I agree with the meal planning post, especially now that it won't include hotdogs. XO

robin said...

why are you just so hilarious? can i take hilarious lessons from you?

and what the meal planning? you're an animal! i really struggle in this area. can i have meal planning lessons from you too?

you're too clever.

the wrath of khandrea said...

at least myself didn't try to get fresh with you.

wait, that came out all wrong.

never mind.

Kirsten said...

i love meal planning, too. weird. but i only do it for two weeks at a time, because we just end up eating everything anyway. i would NOT be a good costco shopper!

Hollyween said...

Way cute post, Lisa-Marie.

Seriously. I can't even add anything witty.

Stacey Jensen said...

I got home just after you left and was sad because I was totally going to go with you. Next time FOR SURE!!! We can giggle about the funny things our kiddos do and the things they don't. Thanks for the invite and definately we will do it next time.