Saturday, June 2, 2007

Holding On and Letting Go

I have been MIA for the last two weeks. Life was put on hold for a short time but I am back and ready to get on with my life as I know and LOVE it!

Three weeks ago I found a lump in my neck. I wasn't too concerned but was concerned enough to have it checked out. My doctor in turn was concerned and ordered a CT scan. The results came back and the radiologist at the hospital and my doctor both suspected Lymphoma. That is where my life as I knew it took a sudden halt. Many phone calls later I was scheduled to see Dr. Eric Garner in Boise. I was only willing to see him. He is the father of my best friend Camilla and I know he is the best and I trust him. Well, to make a long story short, after an appointment with Eric, an in depth ultra sound of the lump and my thyroid, a complete removal and biopsy of the lump, a super long and tiring week, and MANY heard prayers, all the tests came back clear of cancer. Aaaaaah. I can breathe.

We tend to ask the "why" question a lot when we go through trials like this. Why did I need to have such a scare? Why was my lymph node swollen like that? Why me? Etc etc. etc. I decided to ask "what can I learn from this?" (Which I know is easy to do now that this is all over. I am one of the lucky ones who just had a mere scare. ) Well, I think I learned about two things. Or at least was reminded of them. They are things I have always known...maybe I just needed a reminder. I learned about Holding On and Letting Go.

Holding On.... Hold on to your little ones, hold on to your spouse, hold on to all of those that you love most dearly. Holding on means taking a few minutes to sing an extra song at bedtime, or to tickle a back. Holding on means to be more patient and kind and giving when it seems like all you ever do (as a mom) is give. Holding on means remembering that we CHOSE our spouse and should treat them that way. Holding on means, literally, HOLDING on. Give more loves, give more kisses, steal them if you have to. You never know how many more days you get to hold on. I was also reminded to hold on to the truths that I believe in. Hold on to the things and beliefs that make you YOU. Do the things that you know to be right every day and do them with conviction. If you don't have convictions what do you have? Don't just "do" these things, LIVE them. HOLD ON.

Letting Go.... Sounds a little bit odd. I was just talking about holding on. Well, in order to hold on you have to let go. Let go of all the things that we can't do on our own. Let go of your burdens, your sorrows, your pain. Give it away. If you will give all of these things to our Savior He WILL take them. He will take them and carry them for you and make you light. I have always known that the atonement is not for our sins only but for our trials, but I have lived a fairly charmed life and haven't taken advantage of that part of the atonement like I should or could have. I guess I am learning. I'm learning the beauty and peace and calm that can come from Letting Go.

And now, like I said...I'm back and ready to get on with my life the way I like it and that means....FUN, PLAY, LAUGHTER, PICTURES!!! No more heavy blogs! So, please come back, keep on reading. I promise there are great things to come! Sirri just had her first gymnastics recital and that equals very cute video! STAY TUNED!!!


Anonymous said...

HI kids! Lisa Marie, I agree with you 100% about living in a small town! I loved it! I am sure after spending a week in Boise, you feel it more than ever! It was stressful for all of us not knowing, but it was also fun being able to be with all three little ones so much! Even if it did take four of us to do your job!!
We love you! Grandma & Pappa

Anonymous said...

I just needed to say one more thing so I am taking 2 blocks! I am sure the reason all the clerks, etc., know you is because you are such an awesome Mother! People are sure to notice you! Kendon, you are a lucky guy! You are a very "rich" family!
Grandma W.

Dille Family said...

I am happy to hear all is okay! I loved your ideas of holding on and letting go! Trials definitey open our eyes. You are an amazing person.
(Where is Camilla by the way?)