Sunday, June 10, 2007

It's Hard to be Mom

There are times as a Mom that are really emotionally taxing. They pull and tug and yank at your heart strings and it takes a while to recover. For example, taking your babies in for immunizations and finding out that the nurse expects you to help hold their legs down, leaving your kids with a sitter as they cry, "Mommy Mommy," explaining that Daddy is at work when they really need/want him and Mommy just won't do, their first "fight" with a friend, getting called a name on the playground. All these things hurt as a Mom. You can really feel for your child. You feel so bad for them because you have been there, done that and you know that growing up can be tough. (And my examples are all only toddler related. I can only imagine that it gets worse.Yikes!)

Well, yesterday we had one of those emotionally tough kind of days. Sirri was invited to go to a one day, mini dance clinic with her cousin Sydney. For those of you who watched the gymnastics video, you know that this thing is right up her alley. So we went and had a great morning. They learned a little dance which she and Sydney picked up quite well. Stacey and I were both amazed at how fast they caught on. They were having a great time, being good listeners, and really dancing away! Shortly before they were to perform, and they were rehearsing with all the other groups Sirri had her feelings hurt. Some days, she is really thick skinned and isn't phased (again, refer to gymnastics video. Notice Sirri sticking her tongue out at the little girl trying to "help" her behave during the awards ceremony!) and some days when her feelings get hurt her poor little heart is broken and she really struggles. So, yesterday was a struggle kind of day. She was so sad and cried and cried and cried. All during the rehearsal she cried and wouldn't do her dance. The show was about to begin and she was still crying. Of course at the same time, Connor had yanked on Meg's arm and she was so sad as well. (This is one of those moments when people look at me like I am crazy woman!) While I was trying to console Meg, Aunt Stacey went over and held Sirri until her turn to perform. But then she wouldn't let her put her down when it was her group's turn to dance. So poor Aunt Stacey is in the middle of the floor holding Sirri trying to convince her to dance, and they are waiting for Sirri to start. After what seems like forever and probably felt even longer to Stacey (THANK YOU STACE!) I went out on the floor and got in Sirri's face. I told her that we came here to dance and have fun and if she didn't want to do those things then she didn't have to and we could go home but they were trying to start and she had to make a decision right now! Now, don't read that in a very sweet tone of voice, there wasn't a whole lot of loving happening at the moment. I was trying to teach her a life lesson though. I guess that means there was some love! Sirri did decide to get down and dance. They were able to do their dance twice and by the second time she was back to her spunky self dancing away! (She even won an award for being a Super Star Dancer. They had chosen the winners before all of this little episode took place!)

Phew, just relaying that all really re-wore me out. I thought about that experience all day yesterday and still today and feel really sad about it all. I feel bad that Sirri had her feelings hurt in the first place. I feel bad that I got in her face and wasn't as nice as I could have been. I feel bad that she had to make her decision while sad, and in front of a big crowd. I feel bad that she doesn't understand that I was trying to have a "teaching" moment. I feel bad that my teaching "methods" were influenced by frustration, not empathy. I just feel bad.

Sigh.....Sometimes it is just HARD TO BE MOM!


Stacey said...

Hey Lis!! I have to say I really enjoy your journaling. It is wonderful to read that I am not the only mother that struggles. You handled the situation really well and didn't show anger in the least bit. Sorry that Syd wasn't very kind to Sirri. Awe the joys of cousins. Maybe one day they will treat each other better than siblings.


Anonymous said...

Hi Honey!
I am sure it was a bad day, but just wait until she is about 15, Conner is 15 and Meg is 13! Then, you will probably have more sad days, but that is what helps them grow up to be good kids just like you were. I had to "push" Penny out on the stage at a dance recital in Caldwell, crying - age 3! Valerie put her arm around her and told her it would be alright!
One of many!
Love you!

Anonymous said...

I meant to say when Sirri is 16!

Anonymous said...

Hey Dolly, If every mother were like you there would be alot less problems in this old world! You are an incredible Mom who teaches this Mom many lessons. You are something to watch! Keep up the kid work with those lucky little children! I love you, Mom